The last day before the war.

The news is abuzz with the expectation of an “imminent attack” by the Bad Guys on the Good Guys. The Good Guys attacked the Bad Guys last week for no apparent reason (other than to start the war), and now the U.S. President has promised to go to war to defend the Good Guys (who attacked the Bad Guys) if the Bad Guys retaliate. This is how international politics works, apparently.

I’m pissed, frankly. I have plans. I’ve got stuff to do! And the thing is, once missiles start flying in remote parts of the world, it is a distinct possibility that they will soon be flying in my part of the world, and that could result in my plans being delayed or even cancelled. In fact, if things get a little out of hand, I myself could be cancelled, and that would not be an acceptable result.

It’s all the more frustrating because, to be honest, the Good Guys are not that Good. In fact, lately it’s become clear that the Good Guys are raving lunatics bent on murder and destruction. But for some reason (not revealed in official communications), the U.S. President is committed to backing the Good Guys, no matter what heinous crimes they commit. I guess he wants to preserve the reputation of U.S. as the ultimate Good Guy, even though actually we set the standard for heinous crimes and lunacy.

So, here we are. The war starts tomorrow. My plans — my precious plans! — are in jeopardy, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I used to wonder what it meant to “have power,” as in: “The U.S. President has power.” Now I can see that to have power means that you can fuck up other people’s plans, and there’s nothing they can do about it. You can fuck up people’s plans as much as you want, and no one can say anything to you. I guess that’s why some people really want power, though why they want to fuck up other people’s plans I don’t know.

I expect that when the missiles start flying, everyone will freak out and the normal course of society will be somewhat altered, with things like freedom of speech and freedom of association being substantially curtailed. Usually, freedom is good, but when you’re at war, freedom is bad, because you might say something bad about the Good Guys or good about the Bad Guys. People might become confused about whether we ourselves are Good or Bad! And that’s something you must never be confused about, especially in times of war.

I suppose I should buy some rice, or some crackers, or something that keeps a while without refrigeration. Maybe some canned fruit! I can see myself, several days or weeks into the war, when all the supply lines are down, sitting comfy in my dark and chilly house, having a feast of crackers and canned fruit. It is a patriotic vision! That can be my contribution to the war effort, to bear with the privations occasioned by the shutdown of all the supply lines. Isn’t that what civilians are supposed to do? Oh, and put out fires! Maybe I’ll get a fire extinguisher when I go shopping for non-perishable food.

For now, I’m watching The New York Times, which has not mentioned the “imminent threat” of war. It’s all over The Guardian, and TwitterX, but the Times has not yet seen fit to acknowledge that the Good Guys (whom they favor above all others) have instigated a world-wide conflagration to cover up their heinous crimes. And, as we all know, it is the Times that defines reality, so if they’re not reporting it, it’s not yet true.

The thing about a missile, though, is that it doesn’t care what you think. All the rage and hatred and industrial sophistication that is packed into every warhead is released upon detonation, whether or not it’s in the Times. And if it happens near my house, my plans will be cancelled.

So I guess all my plans have now become provisional; that is, they now depend on circumstances and decisions over which I have no control. The power is no longer in my hands. I suppose that has always been true, but, like the editors of the Times, I have been living in a self-made world of illusion.

Now I have seen the truth, and I await, with everyone else, the dispatch and detonation of the missiles. So, on this last day before the war, I wish you well, my friend! I hope you have crackers and canned fruit in your house! If any of my plans have a chance of succeeding, I’ll be sure to let you know, pending the war.

❤️ David B.

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